Generational General Guesswork

19x23

Honestly - I did it- but I didn’t intend to do it.

I found the red pick in the park across the street.  I picked it up and was going to throw it out (for those of you with OCD - morning walk in the park across the street- exposure therapy- lets call it 120 dollars an hour- you pay me I cure you- my park is clean) with other crap i was picking up- but the lightbulb went off in my head on the route to the trash receptacle…oh that is a prop for a painting.

And as a white dude- even with this hair- I have never used a pick in my life- so I ain’t gonna paint a white person with the pick- obviously.

So I picked a frame for scale with the pick.

Placed the pick at the top of the frame- and honestly looked up a picture of Quest Love.  I mean I’m attempting to do pictures of Jerry Garcia and Bob Weir- and Quest is an IMPORTANT HUMAN with awesome vibes and a way of delivering a message much better than most of us…

So I thought I’d try my hand at him.

I painted the shape of his head- then the shape of his hair and then just the shape of his eyes- all on the back of the glass.

Then

I painted his pupils and then his Iris’s.

I flipped him over and laughed- mo fucker- that is certainly NOT QUEST LOVE!

I turned him over and painted his skin- for what equates to my first attempt to do a real person- not a doodle or character- I’m content with how his skin turned out,  

Then I did his hair- and this is my first attempt at painting black folks hair- I’m really happy with how that turned out.

But then that was done and the colored part of the eye was dry enough that I could paint the whites of his eyes…I did so…flipped him over…

And he looked how he looks.

I mean I did paint him- but It was a Bob Ross - happy accident kinda shit.

But this dude doesn’t look happy!

But how does he look?

I want you to put yourself in my shoes…

No background

No Pick yet in his hair

Just this painting I made of this youngish black man- with that look on his face- that I guess I created-  it wasn’t intentional.  It was paint to glass; flip it over and see what you have- and this is what I had.

What was it?

What is it?

To me the look was

Uncertainty

Question

Growing concern

Wait - should I panic?

And times being what they are - what does a youngish black man need to be concerned about? 

None of us like it- but the number one answer on the board is probably the police.

So I made what I made

Now do I let it out?

The words of my son-in-law Jake Triola ring in my ears as I attempt to answer that question.

Once when I had maybe 15 paintings to my name I painted a stone tower.  He said it was his favorite so far,  

I said something along the lines -  that I wasn’t so sure about it…

And he said something along the lines of “It doesn’t matter - it isn’t JUST yours anymore” and went on to talk about how once you share your art- no matter what that art is- it isn’t JUST yours anymore.

I don’t know how that idea got planted in Jake’s head but I am so glad it found my ears.

Speaking of ears- I didn’t give him any.

I could just leave it there but I’ll dive in a bit further.

1. When I was making it- I at first thought I’ll paint the ears on the front- like in front of his hair 
2. I don’t know why- but giving him ears right now - feels like it can just change the painting- so it feels risky- I don’t even want to draw them on with marker that wipes right off- for no reason at all.
3. I am leaving his ears off because I don’t feel black folks need to hear my shit.  It ain’t my story to tell
4. I do think it’s symbolic that in these times- it’s not that we don’t hear each other- but for some reason right now- we can’t hear each other.

Then the title- 

For me it needs to be funny; witty; or illerative.

He doesn’t look like I should go for funny or witty- so I went with illerative 

This is now a multigenerational problem in the United States

And there isn’t “a singular answer”

There is obviously shit we can do to make it better…but if you turn on any of your electric boxes- I’m not so sure that is happening.

So As I type this first draft at 5:11 am on 1/6/23 - my guts are certainly telling me - not to yet share this painting outside of my immediate family circle- because what I really want is for things to be better- and does this do anything to make things better?

Maybe talking about it makes it better.

I really hope listening makes it better.  I hope I can.

Lee

A most special thanks to my partner for the rest of this existence Winnie Oberrath for programming the arduino and setting up the lights- it is better than I had imagined it could be…

Also for her editing of my crazy ramblings above - and for her gift of bringing out the best in everyone she comes in contact with.